OLE AND THE GAME
WARDEN
Ole was stopped by a game warden in Northern
Minnesota recently leaving a lake well known for its Walleye. He had two full buckets of
fish. As it was during the spawning season, the game warden asked, "Do you havea
license to catch those fish?"
Ole replied, "No, sir! Dese here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Ya sure, you betcha," answered Ole. "Every night I take dese fish here
down to da lake and let dem svim around for a while. Den I vhistle and dey yiump back into
deir buckets and I take dem home."
"That's a bunch of hooey. Fish can't do that." said the game warden.
Ole looked at the game warden with an expression of great hurt, and then said,
"Yumpin Yimminy! Vell den, I'll just show you den. It really does vork, don'tcha
know?"
"O.K. I've got to see this!" said the game warden, who was really curious
now.
So Ole poured the fish into the lake and stood waiting. After several minutes, the game
warden turned to Ole and said, "Well?"
"Vell what?" responded Ole.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?" asked Ole.
"The fish!" said the game warden.
"What fish?" answered Ole.
YOUR TALLNESS
I was in the kitchen one day,
trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five
feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box.
Fortunately, I have two
six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue.
"Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the
living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?"
"Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the
kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'"
THOSE KIDS! -- 4 Quick Ones
1) I was driving with my three young
children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back
seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing
a seat belt!"
2) My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of
the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw
it in
the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and
came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."
3) On the first day of school, a first grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this
child are not necessarily those of his parents."
4) A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter…haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" |
